Failure and Self Guilt Getting The Better of You?

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You keep making those decisions you regret but can't seem to stop. 

You're tired - EXHAUSTED.

You haven't exercised for weeks and you're feeling like crap for it. 

Trapped in a merry go round of poor choices, negative self talk and no light at the end of the tunnel. 

This is when you might be thinking that failure and self guilt are getting the better of you. 

SO WHAT NOW?!

This my friends is when you need to give yourself some time. Maybe even some alone time. Get back in touch with who you are inside and what lights you up. 

There are a couple of reset tools I recommend when women come to me in this state (yes it happens all the time and no it's not just you)

These reset tools are:

If you don't give yourself a minute to reset and re-evaluate you will continue on that merry-go-round. Taking time or going slow does not have to mean yet another failure. Often we need a little time and by giving ourselves that permission can begin to get back on track. 

SELF LOVE RITUALS!

If you haven't got them, you need them. 

Work out what makes your shoulders drop, your lips turn up and your eyes sparkle. 

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I have worked really hard on developing my self love rituals. 

They include things like home yoga and meditation practice

Creating a space in my house that is relaxing, calming and takes me away - usually to dreams of Hawaiian holidays! It usually involves fairy lights, candles, my diffuser and a carefully selected playlist

It may be as simple as taking a few deep breaths and fixing my posture

Your self love rituals will look completely different to say your partners or your best friends or mine.

I know for a fact that a massage is one of my absolutley favourite things when I am stressed or burnt out (or just for any day!) but I have friends who find even the thought of it totally unsettling!

Take a few minutes to think about the things you do that have a positive impact on your mindset and overall wellbeing. It's highly likely you have self love rituals you just don't know them as that yet. 

Is it going out for a walk?

Is it heading out for a swim or into the ocean?

Is it calling a friend for a chat?

Is it disappearing into a book or movie?

Is it telling yourself one good thing you've done today and believing it - instead of listening to the inner running commentary of wrong decisions you've made?

Self love rituals allow us to self soothe. To calm ourselves, change our mindset, reset into a more positive frame of mind. As per my previous post on gratefulness, self love has a hugely positive impact on our wellbeing.

It is a tool we can bring out whenever we need it. It is certainly handy to have a few rituals on tap and ready to go for all occasions. If I am at work and stressed I may sneak a few deep breaths with some essential oil. If I am at home I may be able to do something more like dissolve into a warm bubble bath with dancing candles and relax. It is so individual and it will be your journey to explore and experiment with what your self love rituals are. 

Giving yourself permission to GO SLOW

By going slow I don't mean you have to immediately check out to a week long yoga retreat (although how good would that be!)

I mean to start to give yourself a break. If you aren't exercising like you have previously - start slow. 

Start by gradually easing yourself back into some enjoyable physical activity that you feel you could manage. This could be as easy as a walk around the block or five minutes of home yoga practice. 

Allowing yourself permission to give your mind and body this ok to not be doing everything right now, you will start to change your mindset back to one of positivity and self love. 

You will soon realise that you are again beginning to restart your exercise routines and enjoy it - no longer telling yourself how lazy, fat, useless you are for not keeping up your usual routine. 

Sometimes taking a step back and going a little slower through life allows us to take stock and prioritise what is really important at this time. It may help to relieve stress and worry with our seemingly endless responsibilities and deadlines. 

If you are struggling with diet or healthy food choices, again just break it down and go slow. Maybe work on one small change you could make instead of trying to flip everything upside down all at once. 

Often stepping back and going slow is exactly what we need to move forward productively - not fighting ourselves every step of the way, pushing to keep up and keep going. 

Healthy habits and a mindset nurtured from a place of self love and calmness are bound to leave you more positive and thriving in work, life and play. 

Anna Lawrence